I_am_Wake
Legend
Linistel Palace, 2307, Winterfeast
What is a person, if not a soul? Is it wrong for one to accept their anima, their feelings, the combination of desire and dread which fill the heart? Heeled boots clicked along the beautiful stone and smooth wood of the Palace hallways. A familiar, known red dress shifting its way through room to room, an everlasting wander upward the flight of stairs. What does the heart want? From spirit to spirit, each individual mortal requires a different goal or purpose. Ashna wrote that in the Book of Meaning. Yet what happens when the person is conflicted? A torn soul is no soul at all. Can one person truly be two people at once, or are they-- like Gods and Titans-- Figments of that individual? Differing personalities of the same ... whole?
Lana was lost. Her eyes gazed forward at the hallway before her. She knew geographically where she was. This was her new home, welcomed in open arms by the Silveira royalty by a snarky Moor, the motherly Queen and her beloved. Yet her mind was not. Did it ever leave that cavern the Stairway held her in? Did it ever leave that cage? Scars still linger eternally to bare the chronology of the past wounds. Her body, ambitions and emotions moved forever onwards-- yet her mind did not. Jishrim claimed it as his own. She ran from it-- unable to accept the reality which was understanding of pure madness and chaos. An eternal lie haunted her, the knowledge that it all made sense! The horror of change, the refusal to accept it-- the falsehood Lana sells herself upon that it was a torture.
It was all a lie. And yet: it was all true. Instead of acceptance, Lana took the advice of one of the greatest friends she ever had.
'Keep running-- and never look back.'
She could not live with her own knowledge. Where did that bring her? To Visage. When the one she loved forgot her, when her body was broken, Spirit torn from her soul, Lana was alone. She did not know who she was anymore. Anger, pain, suffering-- it all built up inside her and boiled into a faith to a God she wanted terribly to believe in. Father gone, Mentor gone- she needed guidance. A dream of appeasing another. But it did not work out that way. Alone, she became Blessed-- alone, she hid away from the Realm at the expense of her own trust and sanity. Being a Visage is a burden for little reward and few friends. In search for freedom and comfort, she only found an empty void-- a blank, cracked mirror.
Creak.
Lana stopped. On the balcony looking down at the main hall of the Palace, she could see life abuzz. There was distant laughter of a family. A good friend flicking pages in the library. Servants moved from room to room, tidying and dusting. It made her smile. For many months now, Lana had not been alone. Sallana found her, held her and healed that loss through giving anew. Each day, that... stubborn, lovable Caparii came to visit her. For what? What did he have to gain? Nothing! He traveled to the literal other side of the continent each day to make certain she was no longer alone. He saw into her soul, that lost, afraid and flighting soul... and whispered "it is OK."
Even after discovering her faith, he endured. After hearing her cry out, he silenced the tears with a comforting smile. When all was lost, he found her-- giving the mirror a reflection. Although her soul was willingly given to a God without a face, he stole her love. What is a person... if not a soul?
Now her eyes are open. Staring back at the mirror. Flickering irises of red flames hidden in the sea of bright blue. The reflection was no longer cracked, a whole person-- there, alive and well. Her mind was leaving that cavern for the first time, no longer wanting to run.
It was time.
The choice was hers. She had that freedom now through clarity.
Whatever happens, she accepts-- people are often generous in victory and Lana always lost every battle she fought. Yet not today. Today, Lana faced Visage-- herself-- and decided this was not who she was. To what benefit was there in being multiple people? Why have a broken reflection when you can have a whole? Why be humble when you worked hard to become Altera's greatest scholar? The days of suffering are long passed, as everything that can be done-- has been done. She has lost, her mind cracked, her identity stripped, reputation risen and destroyed-- what pain could be inflicted now which has not already been felt before? Visage could not make Lana suffer any more than she already had if they get upset. If anybody would understand her turmoil of rising from nothing... the Watcher would. Why limit oneself to an eternity of confinement where you cannot be trusted by your new family? There is only one reflection now when Lana looks into the mirror. A shoulderless red dress, a red rose, flowing blonde hair and a warm smile. Her mind had been healed through love and affection--- no longer was she alone and afraid. There is good in the Realm! There are those who think beyond their mortality! She will be like them--- No.... She will become. For her love. For her family. For...
...Herself.
Lana fucking Wake.
No longer will she be alone... never will she look back.
What is a person, if not a soul? Is it wrong for one to accept their anima, their feelings, the combination of desire and dread which fill the heart? Heeled boots clicked along the beautiful stone and smooth wood of the Palace hallways. A familiar, known red dress shifting its way through room to room, an everlasting wander upward the flight of stairs. What does the heart want? From spirit to spirit, each individual mortal requires a different goal or purpose. Ashna wrote that in the Book of Meaning. Yet what happens when the person is conflicted? A torn soul is no soul at all. Can one person truly be two people at once, or are they-- like Gods and Titans-- Figments of that individual? Differing personalities of the same ... whole?
Lana was lost. Her eyes gazed forward at the hallway before her. She knew geographically where she was. This was her new home, welcomed in open arms by the Silveira royalty by a snarky Moor, the motherly Queen and her beloved. Yet her mind was not. Did it ever leave that cavern the Stairway held her in? Did it ever leave that cage? Scars still linger eternally to bare the chronology of the past wounds. Her body, ambitions and emotions moved forever onwards-- yet her mind did not. Jishrim claimed it as his own. She ran from it-- unable to accept the reality which was understanding of pure madness and chaos. An eternal lie haunted her, the knowledge that it all made sense! The horror of change, the refusal to accept it-- the falsehood Lana sells herself upon that it was a torture.
It was all a lie. And yet: it was all true. Instead of acceptance, Lana took the advice of one of the greatest friends she ever had.
'Keep running-- and never look back.'
She could not live with her own knowledge. Where did that bring her? To Visage. When the one she loved forgot her, when her body was broken, Spirit torn from her soul, Lana was alone. She did not know who she was anymore. Anger, pain, suffering-- it all built up inside her and boiled into a faith to a God she wanted terribly to believe in. Father gone, Mentor gone- she needed guidance. A dream of appeasing another. But it did not work out that way. Alone, she became Blessed-- alone, she hid away from the Realm at the expense of her own trust and sanity. Being a Visage is a burden for little reward and few friends. In search for freedom and comfort, she only found an empty void-- a blank, cracked mirror.
Creak.
Lana stopped. On the balcony looking down at the main hall of the Palace, she could see life abuzz. There was distant laughter of a family. A good friend flicking pages in the library. Servants moved from room to room, tidying and dusting. It made her smile. For many months now, Lana had not been alone. Sallana found her, held her and healed that loss through giving anew. Each day, that... stubborn, lovable Caparii came to visit her. For what? What did he have to gain? Nothing! He traveled to the literal other side of the continent each day to make certain she was no longer alone. He saw into her soul, that lost, afraid and flighting soul... and whispered "it is OK."
Even after discovering her faith, he endured. After hearing her cry out, he silenced the tears with a comforting smile. When all was lost, he found her-- giving the mirror a reflection. Although her soul was willingly given to a God without a face, he stole her love. What is a person... if not a soul?
Now her eyes are open. Staring back at the mirror. Flickering irises of red flames hidden in the sea of bright blue. The reflection was no longer cracked, a whole person-- there, alive and well. Her mind was leaving that cavern for the first time, no longer wanting to run.
It was time.
The choice was hers. She had that freedom now through clarity.
Whatever happens, she accepts-- people are often generous in victory and Lana always lost every battle she fought. Yet not today. Today, Lana faced Visage-- herself-- and decided this was not who she was. To what benefit was there in being multiple people? Why have a broken reflection when you can have a whole? Why be humble when you worked hard to become Altera's greatest scholar? The days of suffering are long passed, as everything that can be done-- has been done. She has lost, her mind cracked, her identity stripped, reputation risen and destroyed-- what pain could be inflicted now which has not already been felt before? Visage could not make Lana suffer any more than she already had if they get upset. If anybody would understand her turmoil of rising from nothing... the Watcher would. Why limit oneself to an eternity of confinement where you cannot be trusted by your new family? There is only one reflection now when Lana looks into the mirror. A shoulderless red dress, a red rose, flowing blonde hair and a warm smile. Her mind had been healed through love and affection--- no longer was she alone and afraid. There is good in the Realm! There are those who think beyond their mortality! She will be like them--- No.... She will become. For her love. For her family. For...
...Herself.
Lana fucking Wake.
No longer will she be alone... never will she look back.